Though our home base is in Emeryville, it only covers a little over one square mile of land, so we spend most of our time driving in Berkeley.  Driving in Berkeley is like a video game where your goal is to minimize the number of objects that you hit while getting from one point to another within the allotted time, while there are people and cars, strollers and scooters, bicycles and OneWheels, electric and regular skateboards, tandem bikes and elliptical bikes, shopping carts, joggers, and dog-walkers all intent upon making you fail.

The game throws in blindingly bright sunshine, rain, visual barriers like trash cans, cars parked very close together, Amazon trucks and other vehicles double parked, road crews, slow-moving and stopping recycling and trash trucks, and outdoor seating that has taken over part of the road. All the cars have dings but you get extra points if you avoid dings on your own vehicle.

Trash truck blocking right lane

The roads are not arranged in an organized grid because this game is not meant for beginners. A single road will reach a T, but then continue on, in name at least, 100 feet to the south. There are intersections of major streets that don’t meet perpendicularly, with another road thrown in for good measure and geometric interest.

Two lane roads require constant lane-shifting while the left lane is used for left turns at intersections, and the right lane is blocked by parked cars most of the rest of the time. Some of the cars parked haven’t moved in weeks or months, and are teeming with belongings that fall into the street.

The visual noise along the streets is so loud and distracting that it takes almost super-human focusing skill just to stay between the lines of the lane, then the lane will open up to a specially marked bicycle boulevard indicating that bicycles can use the lane in the same manner as cars, in the middle, but providing less visibility to the vehicular traffic since they are so small comparatively. There are farmer’s markets and tent cities spilling into the streets. Shops come in a large variety of colors with interesting wares for sale such as bright feather boas, multi-colored rugs, costumes, and unidentifiable knickknacks.

Lots to see in the storefronts

Rules

It’s clear that the obstacles you need to avoid aren’t following the same rules that you’re required to follow, however, the game’s narrative indicates that they will. Instead of waiting for the traffic to clear, cars on a side street trying to get onto the main road will creep into traffic to force the main road traffic to stop or go around if there is enough room. Pedestrians behave the same when in crosswalks or not, often just walking into traffic without looking, as if they have infinite lives. Red lights appear to be mere suggestions for some of the vehicles if there isn’t any cross traffic.

To make the game more interesting, the rules change as you go, with signs indicating what hours you are allowed to turn left or right, usually including two ranges per day. Some otherwise through roads have been blocked with concrete barrel-like planters to dissuade usage from a particular direction, while one-way signs are regularly seen on two-way roads.

Planters in addition to signs

When you arrive at your destination, there is usually no place to park, causing you to lose precious time searching for a spot, or parking lot, and walking back to the destination before you truly arrive.

Your phone and vehicle navigation aids always underestimate the time it will take to get there, and they don’t know about accidents or other slowdowns. In fact, they will regularly suggest a route that takes up to twice as long as the shortest route during rush hour.

Points

You lose points if you end up driving through a crosswalk that has a pedestrian in it, whether or not they were there when you started crossing, or you had visibility of their actions. The penalty is doubled if this happens as a result of you going around another vehicle stopped at the crosswalk. You lose points if anyone, sane or otherwise, swats your car or yells at you. You lose points if you are in the middle of the intersection when the light changes and you end up blocking traffic in the other direction. And you lose points if for any reason you are the target of anyone else’s horn.

Pedestrian making traffic stop mid-block

Winning

After a while you start catching on to how to take advantage of the chaotic system, if only a bit. You can use pedestrians to your advantage, as other vehicles are forced to stop when pedestrians are in front of them, which at times can create an opportunity for a turn that would otherwise be more difficult. You become aware of which pedestrian crossings have the most traffic and least engaged pedestrians so you can avoid them or just be extra aware there.

Identifying routes that maximize four-way stops versus crossing high volume roads without the protection of a sign provides a bonus level of security that is rare in the game. You get a power-up on trash days when cars don’t park in the right lane, for the most part.

After a while you become accustomed to the vibrant colors, so they are recognized as commonplace and less distracting. When a new unexpected color catches your attention, it’s probably something that you need to focus on versus part of the background.

In the end, if we choose to play the Berkeley Driving Game we are accepting that we are responsible to be alert, and can expect to be surprised, to laugh, to be dazzled by diversity and uniqueness, and to say, “Really?!” and “Did you see that?!” throughout the experience. A couple of the main goals of our change to a cruising lifestyle are to see different cultures and to appreciate the world the way it is where we are visiting, and this game helps to check both of those boxes. It also keeps us on our toes, pushing us toward discomfort. We’re not choosing the comfortable path, but the one more interesting.

Our goal for the next two years is to learn to sail our boat and gain enough experience with it that we feel comfortable leaving the San Francisco Bay Area for locations unknown.

Since we brought Erin Skye to the west coast of the US, and moved aboard in June, we’ve been fixing and upgrading many systems to make the space more livable. Some of these changes include black water tank and hose replacement, adding a clear enclosure to the cockpit, replacing cockpit cushions, installing an automatic shower pump, replacing sink hardware, addressing standing rigging concerns, and fixing several issues with the dinghy motor. That was all needed and appreciated, but the warmer season for sailing in the Bay is upon us and we realize that our opportunity to practice the art and science of sailing may be reduced if we don’t take advantage of it now.

Fortunately, we joined the Emeryville Yacht Club and they schedule cruise outs approximately every month, so we have been participating in those for the last couple of months.

Angel Island Cruise Out

Leaving the Marina

Angel Island is a mere 1.5 hour trip from our slip in Safe Harbor Emeryville Marina, and overall I think our family handled it well, as our first San Francisco Bay cruise out.

The Trip

We all understood the course that was plotted, and the roles we were to fill, and had settled into the motion of the sea. Ethan was sitting in the cockpit while James and I were on the helm seat when we heard Ethan say in a calm voice, “Man overboard.” WHAT!?! I immediately told him not to joke about such things, but he quickly clarified that a fender had escaped the boat and was now floating behind us. Ah, fender overboard. We turned around, and went through the procedure we’d practiced several times before, and successfully recovered the fender.

Within 10 minutes Ethan again said, “Man overboard.” This time it was a different fender, obviously unsecured since being removed at the dock, just as the last one was. We recovered that one too, but during the effort, the starboard engine stopped and we weren’t able to restart it. The good news is that catamarans have two engines, so we just continued to our destination in Ayala Cove, Angel Island.

Mooring between two mooring balls was much more challenging than it would have been with two engines, but with the help of our yacht club and a couple other cruisers in dinghies we were able to secure Erin Skye, prepare a 5 layer dip and join other yacht club members at the welcome party.

The Island

Our family taking the dinghy to Erin Skye in Ayala Cove, Angel Island. Photo courtesy of Britta Fjelstrom of Vacilando

We took our dinghy (our “cruising car”) to the coast and rode the tram around the island, learning about the 3000 year history of the island: from the fishing and hunting of the Coastal Miwok Indians, to many government uses, including immigration station, to the state park it is today. Poetry written in Chinese and other languages mark the walls of the immigration station, recording feelings and aspirations of the detainees, some staying for years because of discriminatory laws of the time. Our travels open a door into different places, times, cultures, and values, and each of these experiences has something to teach us, even when what we learn doesn’t represent behavior that is consistent with our values.

While Ethan fished in the cove and I did some reading, James was able to figure out the problem with the engine: a fuel filter needed to be replaced. Though we had an extra, apparently we didn’t have the fittings to make it work properly, so we would need to resolve that after returning and ordering the parts.

We hosted a games night with the yacht club before turning in for our final night at Angel Island. Our departure the next morning was uneventful but the trip back consisted of dodging many sailboats and ferries. It also pointed out the lag between the chart plotter inside at the navigation station and the helm station. Though many things don’t move quickly on a boat, we certainly want the response time to be better than it was and felt that it was not as safe as it should have been, leading to a lack of visibility at some times. When we got back to land, we borrowed from next year’s upgrade budget and got a new chart plotter for the helm.

Half Moon Bay Cruise Out

The Trip

At Angel Island we moored for the first time. This month we went to Half Moon Bay and anchored for the first time. In each case we identified more tasks that should be done before we depart from our home marina, like making the man-overboard stick easily available, and disconnecting the fruit hammock so it doesn’t turn into a fruit smashing hammock.

Our trip to Half Moon Bay included many learning experiences, even though it was the least stressful and most fun of all of our outings so far. Nothing broke, our crew had a better idea of what to do and some practice doing it behind them, our chart plotter was cooperating, and so was the weather, generally.

We left Emeryville at 6:35am, just 5 minutes after our planned departure. Our buffer of over 1.5 hours gave us confidence that we would reach the Golden Gate Bridge before the current going under it would be against us, making us work harder to leave the Bay.

Almost out the gate for our cruise out

The sea state did get more rough once we were outside the Bay, and Ethan decided to test the conditions in his berth in the forward part of the boat. He lay down in bed and rode wave after wave in a unique blind roller coaster experience. One large wave took Erin Skye low, then high, then falling quickly again, causing Ethan to levitate briefly above his bed and convincing him of the value of NOT being at the bow under those conditions.

We got a sail out for a couple of hours, however the winds were almost 180 degrees from the norm, and instead of helping us down the coast, they were against us.

Our approximate route

When we were about 15 minutes out from the harbor we called into the harbormaster to get an allocated slip. Unfortunately, there were none remaining  that could accommodate us, so we had to anchor instead. We knew this would be a possibility, so we were prepared. It was so easy compared to the last time we tried anchoring in San Diego (that ended in utter defeat), that we didn’t trust that the anchor was secure. So we set the anchor alarm and waited for quite a while before we felt satisfied that we were actually secured to the bottom.

The Destination

We looked forward to taking the dinghy to the marina and land, and connecting with our fellow yacht club members. It was challenging to find a place to tie up the dinghy, but after talking with the coast guard and another dinghy crew, we found the designated area, accessible only through a passage under the pier, ducking to avoid water pipes and dodging other obstacles like concrete pylons.

Fisherman were at the dock, selling black cod, urchins and other seafood that had been caught earlier in the day. Ethan wanted to try fresh black cod, but by the time we would have a chance to cook it, it would no longer be so fresh, so we passed. He did enjoy having a sea urchin wiggle on his hands but was disappointed when we denied his request to keep it as a pet.

Anchored at Pillar Point Harbor

When we were ready to leave Half Moon Bay, we let Ethan sleep in since we didn’t need his help with dock lines. About 105 feet of chain needed to be pulled in, and that would be quick work. I used the windlass controller to bring up the chain but soon noted a thick paste of mud clinging to it. This meant I’d need to wash off the chain as I brought it up.

The chain was covered in mud when we were lifting it to leave

That wasn’t a big deal, but it wasn’t something we were planning to do, and took more time than expected. Actually, it was quite satisfying to spray off the mud! When deploying the anchor the day before, we counted off the length so we knew we had approximately the right amount of chain for the job, but when I was bringing it in I didn’t pay attention to this. So I was surprised when the anchor became seated in its spot below the bridge deck. Just like that when James learned that we were free, we slowly motored out of Pillar Point Harbor.

On the way back once again we had the wind on our nose. It was a peaceful trip. Ethan and I spent time at the bow with the brisk wind in our faces observing the murre seabirds (aka penguins of the north) plopping down into the water when we got close. Later we learned that they sometimes dive down 600 feet to get food. We saw a whale off in the distance, while James dodged bull kelp and crab pots and kept us on course. The tethers we used to connect to the mast allowed us to feel and be safe while out of the cockpit.

Erin Skye from the front, photo courtesy of Geli Bergin from Irene

Family and Friends Cruise Outs

We’ve headed out on our own without the structure of a yacht club event 3 or 4 times, and have plans to choose new destinations in the near future. As the weather gets colder and wetter, we will need to decide whether to cozy up at the dock for a bit, or put on foul weather gear and learn skills under different conditions. I suspect we’ll choose the latter. Though there are many projects that can be taken on indoors, I’m sure we’ll want to stretch our wings, raise and unfurl the sails and experience Erin Skye more for what she is: a sailboat! And since we’ll encounter a huge variety of conditions out there, having a more varied foundation of knowledge and experience will go a long way to improve our comfort level as well as our level of expertise.

We had some idea of what living onboard Erin Skye would be like before we jumped into it, because we’d spent a week or so aboard her several times already. Plus we’d spent time on other boats, have been perusing sailing and live-aboard forums for two years, and have read books and listened to podcasts on the topic. But since we moved aboard five weeks ago, we’ve learned so much more, and have run into a few surprises.

Cooking

Onboard, the more simple the food preparation the better, mainly because of working space limitations, but also because the cooking appliances, tools, and food are not all within reach, but are stored in a place determined by safety and logistics over convenience.

I enjoyed identifying where the food would go as we unpacked box after box, and for the most part the initial plan has held steady. Spices, a few sauces, coffee, and tea are the only food items that we keep in the cupboards of the galley (kitchen), while snacks, baking ingredients, and canned goods are housed close-by under the settee (couch). The challenge arose with those bulky food items that didn’t fit in the saloon (main living area), or are not used as frequently, such as rice, pasta, dried beans, and extras of anything, like peanut butter, homemade jam, soy sauce, and ramen. We now have food stored in 8 different places!

One of our pantries

The most significant restriction we have in the galley is the size of the refrigerator. Meal planning and rotation are so much more important when we have less space for fresh food, leftovers and condiments. We had to decide what will not have a dedicated refrigeration space anymore, like bottles of mustard. Mustard is needed on very few occasions, and we can de-prioritize those meals, or make mustard from what we have onboard if needed. We also don’t refrigerate the fresh veggies and fruit that lasts longer anymore, like carrots, potatoes, and apples.

I suspect that we’ll reduce the variety of meals we rotate through to maintain a smaller number of condiments and ingredients needed on hand. I’ll experiment more and determine whether that is a concept that really needs to be pursued or whether that level of meal variety really falls into the spice of life category.

Cleaning

It’s amazing how quickly any spot on the boat can get dirty. More accurately put, it’s amazing how quickly ALL the spots on the boat get dirty.

Daily we are wiping down floors, the deck, tables, counters, bathrooms, and often walls! Part of the reason is that we are tracking dirt into the boat with every trip from the parking lot, when we pick up groceries, mail and packages, laundry, or when we go on any errands. And it appears that another reason is that I’m shedding hair. Was I dropping the same amount of hair onto the carpet and other flooring when we lived on land, but the space was greater so we didn’t notice it collected together? Or did the environment (or my age progression!?) trigger a change?  

Shiny clean table with Ethan hiding behind his phone and snacks

We’ve also needed to clean solvent off the cupboards, replace the caulking in the heads (bathrooms), wash all the windows, and remove dust from the many infrequently accessed compartments we’ve opened. Soon we will have a cleaning regimen and document the cleaning rotation schedule, first draft, so we can get an accurate view of the extent of the recurring cleaning needs.

Unpacking

We planned to move aboard 20 boxes then pare it down afterward figuring out what was truly needed, but we ended up with about 42 instead. Our marina staff and neighbors certainly appreciate that we ended up moving way too much stuff, as they have been the recipients of several boxes of unneeded items each week. So have the local charities, but apparently the need is lesser in the East Bay than in Denver, evidenced by the donation hour reductions and accepted item restrictions. I’ve had a great opportunity to tour the local neighborhoods following the advice of donation center efforts to help me find a new home for my things.

As we go through all this, it’s becoming more clear what works well in this new environment and what we just don’t need to keep aboard. I’ve not once thought we brought too many cleaning or hand towels, but we do keep giving away pens, tools, fluffy bath towels, clothing, and books. It hasn’t taken long for us to break the habit of collecting mementos, as we can feel the expected pain of having to part with something else if we bring it aboard.

Exercise

I expected to have to identify a way to include exercise in our routine, thinking we’d be active with yoga at first, and to figure out where to do this so we could exercise together, or at least so the exerciser wouldn’t block the way of other family members. What I didn’t realize is that there is absolutely no reason to consider extra exercise at this point since the unpacking, cleaning, and boat maintenance/projects have us going to bed sore each night.

Even walking from the car to the boat adds to our just-living exercise as our slip is at the end of the dock. If we bought groceries or boat parts, or if we had a package arrive at the office, we can add carrying that weight to our exercise total.

Ethan appreciates high tide when he can reach the top of the pylons. We appreciate the seagull artwork too, as long as it’s dry.

One last thought on exercise I’d like to share is that I’ll need to work on my balance and muscle-confidence to make disembarking more seamless. I don’t feel comfortable just stepping off the deck and onto the wooden rail of the dock from so far away or so far up. For James and Ethan, disembarking is simply a long step out. Who would have thought that it’d be so difficult to disembark?! I find it easy to get onboard, but somehow I’m a bit intimidated by the movement in the other direction.

Smells

Until Eileen the purse seiner (fishing boat) moved upwind of us, we didn’t have any of the fishy, or even salty air smells in our marina. It was simply a clean air experience that we enjoyed but were taking for granted. When Eileen arrived, her captain let me know that she’s a short-term visitor and after his family trip to Hawaii he would be moving her along to her usual fishing grounds. With a tarp over the Spectra net, there’s really very little to be concerned about, at least there wasn’t for the first week. The second week caused our eyes to water and reduced our time outside.

Eileen leaning during low tide

Since our indoor space is so small, the activities done in one area tend to impact people in the rest of the boat. For example, when James is doing plumbing work, or anything with epoxy, it’s very clear to the whole family. In addition, with all the surface cleaning, and moisture in the air, the cleaning rags in the hamper smell like mildew quite quickly. And though vinegar is nicer smelling than many other cleaning substances, its scent can be pungent.

There are great aromas in the boat as well, especially when I’m cooking! Chocolate chip cookies, hash browns, enchiladas, and soups are some of my favorites so far. This isn’t different from land life, except that the kitchen, living room and dining room are the same room, so food smells stay in the living space much longer.

The best scent outside is from the pine trees in the marina park, as well as the fresh scent of no other smells.

Sounds

The sailboat chimes in the marina are typical and rather pleasant to hear. With the wind whipping around the sails, lines, halyards, and other hardware, the ringing and clanging are constant background sounds to all else. At 5am each day the fishing boats get their start, and we will often hear engines or radio communication as they motor past. Sometimes we even hear voices of those aboard. It’s actually really nice to wake up to the natural sounds of the marine environment, even if it’s a bit earlier than we’d choose to wake up otherwise.

Recently a friend mentioned that she imagined that “rocking to sleep with the movement of the boat” would be heavenly. I can say that often is the case, but not always. Sometimes the increased wind amplifies the aforementioned chimes into a cacophony of clanks, and the water slaps the hull around our ears. This was the case on the night of July 4th and was punctuated by the sound created by our accidentally leaving the flag in its holder just above deck from our cabin. After time I’m sure these unusual sounds will be filed under “common” in our minds, but for now they do tend to attract our attention a bit too much.

Nature

There is a large variety of birds in the area that produce all sorts of sounds as well. Our regular neighbors are pelicans, sea gulls, terns, cormorants, egrets, great egrets, blue herons, sandpipers, pigeons, ducks, crows, and many smaller birds that we’ve not yet identified. Seals come by often and we can see their cute little heads above the water for a minute or so before they fall back under. Near the Berkeley Marina there is a flock of turkeys that has graced us with their presence, parading down and along the road as if we weren’t there.

We’ve gone on several hikes since we got here, since the East Bay Regional Park District is so close and boasts many excellent preserves, and we were able to encounter Ethan’s favorite reptile to stalk: lizards. We also ran into California Bay trees (I chose not to take any bay leaves), and poison oak (we steered clear), plus, rosemary grows around here like a weed, so I did choose to harvest a bit to spice up some bread and soups.

Ethan pausing among the refrigerator trees (Madrone trees)

One of the reasons that I was eager to adopt this cruising lifestyle is that I’m enamored by nature. I feel better physically and mentally when I’m outside, and I love to observe and experience the natural elements of our world. Living on the water provides an immediate closeness to a world that was previously unfamiliar to us, under the sea, with nature in all her glory right beneath and around us. The park that abuts the marina is a destination in itself, for the beautiful view across the bay, and also for the remoteness it provides in the middle of an urban setting.

Though we’ve been focusing on working to make the boat more comfortable to live in, we also recognize that we need to balance that with the actual living. It’s been too easy to dive into the maintenance and projects, and just focus on the boat. Fortunately, we have kept in mind the reason we wanted to cruise in the first place: to explore, to meet new and interesting people, and to learn about and experience local culture and nature.

Each evening when the sun goes down, we have an amazing view of marine-influenced colors and cloud patterns, signifying the clear transition from day to night. The calming sunsets frame the experience, and remind us of how fortunate we are to have the opportunity to choose this lifestyle and to have the courage to pursue it.

Photo Gallery from our first month living aboard Erin Skye:

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If you’d like to be reminded of what we were thinking about a year ago when we purchased Erin Skye, check out that link below.

We Bought a Sailboat!

We have less than two weeks left in Colorado, this state where I’ve lived over half my life, where we got married, and where Ethan was born. This backdrop for our amazing and significant events and activities couldn’t have been better: from the glorious natural views and hiking experiences, to the dog-focused families, to the sports fanatics, to the 300 annual days of sunshine, to the plentiful ski resorts, to the festivals, art shows, and farmers’ markets, to the outdoor concerts, and the spectacular patterns of pink and orange hues that come with cloudy sunsets.

What We Are Doing

We’re spending our final weeks enjoying what Colorado has to offer that we have yet to experience, and experiencing again what we have enjoyed previously. We decided upon the following final activities, in this Centennial State, Colorful Colorado.

Spending Time with Friends and Family

2021 Wild Animal Sanctuary

This is the hardest part about leaving- we will miss our friends and family tremendously. In fact, we have missed our friends over the past 15 months or so, but recently vaccines have allowed us more freedom to visit with them again safely. Just in the past few weeks we’ve been able to join them for dinners, a walk through the Wild Animal Sanctuary, card games, hikes, and simple visits to talk and reconnect.

Our older son is 27, has a career, apartment, girlfriend and other aspects of life in Colorado, so he won’t be going with us. He’s the one person outside our household that we connected with during the pandemic, and it’s hard to imagine not being able to see him very often.

The same is true for our closest friends, Kirsten and Scott. I knew her before she met him, and they just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. She was my matron of honor, and he James’ best man. We went on countless vacations together, some with kids, others not, some with and some without spouses.

Though we are leaving so many behind, we are keeping them in our hearts and minds, and fully expect them to visit us on Erin Skye before or after we depart for our cruising years.

Exploring in the Mountains

2021 Red Tail Overlook, Mueller

Colorado is home to beautiful mountains, including purple mountains majesty, that we enjoy hiking, and viewing, and immersing ourselves in. We have been avid campers, hikers, skiers/snowboarders, snow-shoers, and view-appreciaters, so we kept the tradition we’ve had for so many years. We scheduled a Memorial Day Weekend that mimics the way we spent most Memorial Days in the past two decades. We hiked in Mueller State Park (leaving the camping part behind this year), and toured the Cave of the Winds, probably for the 7th time. It was fantastic to breathe in the pine-scented air and stand on boulders overlooking the Sangre de Cristo mountains. and though the path we choose this time was downhill to start and uphill coming back, I’d still recommend Red Tail Overlook on any nice spring day.

May 2015

May 2017

May 2019

May 2021

Wrapping up the Day Job

The reality of this move, this change in lifestyle, really hit me today. My last day in the office is a day away, and colleagues are wishing me well, asking for last bits of advice, and noting the hole that I’m leaving. I’m sure that the organization will adapt as it does with any change, and though I will miss the camaraderie and collaboration, I will adapt as well.

It’s hard for me to fathom not having a job. I’d like to continue to contribute to society in some manner, and not an insignificant one. I’d like to contribute more directly to saving people’s lives, saving the planet, as well as leading my family in the preparation for the cruising life, which ties right into my passion for learning and experiencing new things. I’ll put together the plan to address that once we are in our new home and things settle down, perhaps about 3 weeks from now.

Taming the Stifling Stuff-Monster

We have sold or given away all but the necessities in our apartment, and what remains is packed up into boxes that will go to the boat. All of the furniture is spoken for, to be removed the day before we turn in the keys. The pictures are off the walls, and our kitchen contains only the bare minimum, with a set menu for our final days determining the utensils, appliances, and pans that are still accessible.

Our umpteenth round of culling has filled yet another few boxes to donate to charity. I’m sure we have at least 8 receipts from Goodwill since the start of the year, and this round we are looking for a bit of variety – towels to the Denver Dumb Friends League, food to a neighborhood food bank, and clothing to ARC.

Completing the Middle School Experience

Ethan during his 8th grade continuation speech

Ethan’s middle school years are now over, and he is currently at a graduation party, with a sleep-over afterwards. During the ceremony earlier today we listened to his classmates discuss how their school made them who they are today, how much they grew and learned in the process, and how much they will miss the teachers and friends they had spent so much time with over the years. It was as if they were all going out of state, but of course they are not. For them, and for Ethan doubly as he won’t be geographically close, it is a time to say good-bye, to transition into a different chapter in their lives.

What We Are NOT Doing

With so little time, there were things we considered doing, but that we decided against.

Climbing 14ers

2015 in Mueller Park overlooking the back of Pike’s Peak (a 14er)

It’s a pastime in Colorado to hike up one or more of the 58 mountains with peaks above 14,000 feet. I’ve had the great fortune and perseverance to hike to the top of one of these 14ers, Mt Sherman, but I/we really don’t have a need to do more. We prefer the less technical and the more enjoyable treks through the wilderness and mountain terrain.

Going to Large Venues or Tours

I wish we could have taken Ethan to see the US Mint tour, or the Coors Brewery tour while we lived so close, but alas, it was not meant to be. Perhaps we can arrange for that on a future trip back. He’s never seen a concert at Red Rocks Amphitheater either, but he’s been to the other major venues for music or sports. We’ll pass on those with the small amount of time we have left.

Going Camping

It’s been a tradition for our family to go camping at Mueller or thereabouts over Memorial Day, Estes Park during the Highland Festival after Labor Day, and many other places over long and short summer weekends. Usually we shared our camping adventures with wonderful friends, made campfire meals, played cards, and explored our surroundings by foot or 4-wheeling.

The personal and natural connections we made during those camping trips were unforgettable, and they are treasured memories for our family. Since we no longer own our camper, we’re identifying other opportunities to connect with friends before we leave.

2015 Conquering the Rock at Mueller

2016 Estes Park with Kirsten, Scott, Carmen, and Kurt

2018 4-wheeling with BJ and Brenda

Visiting Prior Homes

The thought crossed my mind that it would be interesting to see what our prior homes look like now, as we depart from the state. A while back I drove by the first house I ever bought (in Thousand Oaks, California) and it was a shock to see that the design and planting I did in the front yard to make it require less water and be unique, was wiped out and replaced with a lawn.

This time around I decided that I’d rather not spend the time and fuel to drive to see them all (Evergreen, Greenwood Village, Parker, Aurora, Stapleton – recently renamed Central Park, and Centennial). It’s worthwhile to look at a Google Street View of each occasionally, but there isn’t any need to do that now or by any deadline.

Moving on…

And now it’s time to say goodbye to all that Colorado is to us. It’s been a good run, and we will cherish these memories forever, as we build new ones to take us forward into our new adventure.

In this post we will attempt to do something we have never done before. We will merge our two voices. Our voices are so very different at times and yet our thoughts can be very similar. I think it is the pulse and resonance of our individual voices that really set us apart. I suppose you could say I am her sweet as she is my savory. Very different but I hope meaningful to each to our own.

Life Is Change

Without pauses in the rush to get things done, sometimes we don’t allow ourselves time or perspective to reflect, grow, to evolve past the busyness… to appreciate the moment. Last month we were forced to pause, to stop, and say goodbye for the second time in four months to a family member, a soul we have loved deeply, cared for, laughed with, cried for. Some say that our furry friends don’t laugh, but I would disagree. I have felt a bubbling warmth through a doggy grin, a wagging tail, slurping kisses, and playful grunts and growls as heartfelt as any human belly laugh. Recently we said goodbye to our sweet Guinness followed by our big red guy Foster, souls as big as any being we have ever known.

Foster and Guinness in the spotlight

The emptiness we have in our hearts is hollow, quiet, and still. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t feel a lump in my throat and a longing for something that we know will forever be missing.

We will be writing the next chapter of our story within a household that isn’t graced by their presence, who have warmed our hearts, our lives, and our home for so long.

Guinness, in her younger years, before the gray

The Dogful Years

The previous chapter, the dogful one, was pretty long – it started in 2004, the year we got married. 2004 was full of so many promises that would bear fruit for years to come. It was filled with warm laps, food-free floors, furry blankets, loyalty as thick and sweet as honey, and pure companionship. As with many relationships, it was also forged and tempered in the fire of challenges. It was filled with lots of vet visits, cone heads, stomachs pumped, surgeries, and worrying while they spent time in animal hospitals. To offset that, they made us laugh so often, with honks and snorts, and provided enormous heartwarming comfort with their morning huggies.

Foster and Guinness teaching Ethan how to go outside

When we embarked upon these dogful adventures all those years ago, we never expected how those fur babies would impact and enrich our lives for years to come. We feel their loss now with the simplest reminders that follow us through our home-like shadows that are so close but without substance, untouchable, empty. We no longer take strolls around the courtyard or sit down on the couch in the evenings to spend time with Foster and Guinness in our laps. Their blankets are gone where they were once heaped on the couch, nor is there a fluffy bed in front of the fireplace. Sometimes we even miss the noises of elderly dogs that would invariably wake us up in the middle of the night. That light has faded from our lives but not our thoughts, our memories. At times I can almost sense them if I close my eyes and reach out with my heart. It is still too soon and the loss is painful yet bittersweet. Bitter for the loss, and sweet to know they will suffer pain no longer, they are free.

Foster soaking in the sun

With their memories tucked close to our hearts, it is our new adventures that carry us forward.

The New Norm

This change in family makeup forced some much-needed reflection. There are new pages before us, some we have outlined in pencil as they are still in the making, some we have scribbled in ink as they are well underway, many we will write as we go. Through all of them we try to live in the moment as we wait for all the pieces to begin to fit into place. Recently it occurred to Deanna that we had spent some of our last 4-5 months thinking of our current situation as a mere stopover, a temporary place to wait until the pieces become more clear and the REAL adventure begins. This brings to mind Dr. Seuss’s inspirational book about the journey of life and its challenges Oh, the Places You’ll Go! which warns about “The Waiting Place… for people just waiting.” We definitely don’t want to be stuck in the languid grey of that place. While waiting is neither productive, fulfilling, nor renewing, waiting can include value – it just requires a conscious decision to achieve that value.

And that’s where we are today. We are waiting less than 3 months before we move aboard our boat in the San Francisco Bay area, and we are more determined than ever to prepare and be ready, both for the move and also for the lifestyle change. We long to wake in the morning to hear waves lapping against the hull, see wildlife thriving around us, and feel purpose… wagging its tail before us like the two souls that we will forever carry in our hearts

, their spirits with us to in all the places we will go.

Our last family photo with both Foster and Guinness, September 2020

Our routine these days is focused on learning, planning, packing, practicing, sharing, maintaining and improving Erin Skye, and winding down our lives here in the Denver area. A new purpose awaits us and we can feel the promise coursing through our veins.

• By the end of the month, we will make a decision about where Ethan will go to high school
• Near the end of April, Deanna will likely decide whether or not to seek employment in her career field of project management, transition from a part-time to full-time role exploring the story of our world with Erin Skye, or identify an appropriate mixture of both. Whatever is decided in that space will need to be balanced with leadership in Project Managers Without Borders, PMI, and of course family time.
• We will also be identifying how to close out chapters here in Denver: How to bid adieu to friends accumulated over 25 years in this state, finalizing what to do with stuff that isn’t going on the boat, completing the middle school experience, and making the most of what we have here in this state, all during a pandemic. It’s not the way we envisioned it, but as it is with all things in this new life we will live, we will adjust and move forward.

Point Conception in the distance, near Santa Barbara, CA

There’s excitement in that agility, in not having a complete plan but knowing we can react and adjust with the preparations we’ve made. Fate will have its part too, fate and the weather. We can anticipate the wind, read the skies. Yet it is through experience and planning that we will control our destiny. From where we are now, we have a horizon full of possibilities.

Deanna started crafting the bones for these thoughts during a snowstorm, one of the last we expect to experience in a very long time. The scaffolding and the purpose is all hers.  The instrument is of her design, some of the coloring and of course, the chorus from the heartstrings is my doing. We were apart during the time she gave breath to this article while I was prepping Erin Skye for the next leg of her journey north. As the snow continued to fall and she wrapped up the first draft of this story, she passed on these thoughts to me so she and Ethan could be in the moment and not in the waiting place. Outside they went bundled for the storm to build a snowman together, perhaps for the last time in Colorado. We are moving on to create and explore the story of our world. The best place to start is where we are, and the best time is now.

With heartiest of regards,

James

Ethan’s last snowman for a while

Acknowledgments

Special thanks go to Jordan who treated our pups as her own and made them feel special when we were away, Dr. Deanna Miller and her practice Rising Sun Animal Care, who recognized that our dogs were family members and treated them that way, and to BJ and Brenda who hugged us (first time in a year!) despite the pandemic, the hour before we said goodbye to Foster. The heartiest of thanks go to James for holding every one of our canine children when they were freed from suffering, and providing the utmost of care and support, and to Ethan for the idea to give Foster the chance to have his previously-off-limits favorite treats one last time.

Deanna